Boston Strongler

I tend to get cynical about anything that people love. You can call me a hipster for that if you want to, but I've been doing it since I was a kid and it's out of my control at this point. This was me as a little kid, on the left*. I had just finished telling that robot kid that we're all robots, going through the motions of our programming by following outdated traditions like 'Trick or Treat".

I hope this doesn't come off as cynicism. I know this is going to be a controversial one, as people in the Greater Boston area get so into rah-rah slogans*,

but it's time to let go of 'Boston Strong".

Yes, on one or more of my delirious righteous-indignation-and-tequila-fueled post-marathon-bombing Facebook statuses, I used the phrase. I definitely ended a couple of tweets with it too, so don't bother looking. That was then, and I had a motive. The city needed a slogan to get behind, because that's how we are, and the one that was prevalent at first was "Pray for Boston". God I hated that one. It sounded so condescending, like we deserved to get bombed because of our perceived godlessness.* At first I thought it was a nice, if quaint, sentiment, but soon I realized every Evangelical athlete or politician who tweeted "Pray for Boston" might as well have tweeted "See what happens when you turn your backs on Jesus and let the Gays marry?!"

Maybe I just read too much into it, but  Since everyone was hash-tagging that, when 'Boston Strong" came around it seemed far more appropriate. I figured if we had to have a cheesy slogan, I would pick the one that doesn't involve muttering to an imaginary deity. Plus I was drinking tequila during that whole ordeal, I would like to reiterate. Now that hopefully I've made up for my indiscretions, I will give you

 

Six Reasons it's Time to End "Boston Strong"

 

1. It's unoriginal

Army Strong and Jersey Strong both predate Boston Strong (I'm done with the quotation marks) as slogans. New Jersey used their slogan after hurricane Sandy in 2012. That's right Boston, we're copying.. NEW JERSEY.

2. It's exclusionary

Many people in this country think that Bostonians are a bunch of drunk hooligans with goofy accents, who curb-stomp people at parades. Here's the video if you haven't seen it. Don't watch if you want to feel good about Bostonians.

Red Sox Parade Fight, Barstool Sports

If that's not off-putting enough, now we have a slogan that seems to imply that we have a special strength sadly lacking in other cities. Maybe we do, but going around chanting about it and covering yourself in the text from head to toe won't win us many friends. My friend Paul (@GrossArticulate) thinks it has a sort of "White Power!" feel to it. I think it's more silly and less menacing, more like "Gluten-Free!", but the point is; slogans that exclude others are offensive to those others. Then we get mad when Toronto puts out shirts that read 'Toronto Stronger' or Chicago with 'Chicago Stronger', et cetera.. like we have a monopoly on strength.

3. It's gone on too long

First there were the t-shirts that went to the One Fund, with the official logo and all that, I was behind that; the money (I hope) went to the victims at some point. The people who bought those walked around with them for a few months feeling good that they contributed. Then they put them in their closets, to be remembered on occasion; like my Red Sox 2004 World Champions hat and my 'Bury the Bears' t-shirt. Some things just have a temporal limitation. That limitation ended for Boston Strong several months ago, or at least after the world series.*

4. People are just wearing knock-offs anyway

like those bright, florescent pink and yellow shirts, sweatshirts and hats. Those are only fattening the pockets of t-shirt kiosk owners. They also make you look like a tourist, which brings me to my next point.

5. It has become the new 'Hahvahd' shirt

or 'Cheers' hat, or Mike's pastry box, or whatever. It's something that tourists buy as a souvenir. There is very little sentiment, and no relief for the victims, going into their fashion statement. It's become something you buy when you visit Boston. It's a tchotchke.

6. It's hybridizing in an alarming way

The original logo has been trademarked, I assume. This has led to unscrupulous vendors making all sorts of twisted, "deformed twin that we lock in the attic and never talk about" versions of it. Also, they just piggyback slogans on top; like "Never Forget"*, "This is our (bleeping) city!"*, "You messed with the wrong city!"*, etc. I've seen shirts with all of those on one shirt, for the value shopper.

Also, this..

In conclusion

I know that criticizing the continuance of a slogan that is loosely but permanently related to the tragedy which unfolded in April might offend some people. That is not my intent. I was deeply moved by those events, they affected me in a real way. Just keep in mind; that slogan was added after the events, externally, by people using social media. It was like a emotional band-aid for the city, and many throughout the world. Just like a band-aid, if left on too long it gets stuck and becomes irritating. So, Boston, World, let's rip that band-aid off, together. Why? Because..

Big Papi saying, well you know..



*Not really me
*Cowboy Up!, Ubuntu, Don't Poke the Bear!, Fear the Beard!, that's just a sample from this decade.
*Since the bombing was done by religious zealots, I think religion should sit in the corner and be quiet on this one.
*An exception, obviously, is the 2014 marathon.. go nuts that day.
*Now we're copying New York
*Don't get me wrong, it was tubular*when Ortiz said it.
*^^^ President Obama ^^^
*I'm trying to bring 'tubular' back.