TUXEDOPALOOZA!!!

Since so many bands enjoy the stark formallity and insinuations of using 'black' and 'white' in their names, I have decided to start a new music festival called "TuxedoPalooza"

Here is the line-up as I envision it...

Black Keys
Black Crowes
Black Lips
Black Kids
Blackaliscious
White Stripes
White Snake
White Lion
White Denim
White Rabbits

Hosted by
Black Francis
Betty White

Featuring
Young Black Teenagers
The Whitest Kids U Know

Formal Attire is recomended. Speaking of which, last night was

New Year's Eve

Since I'm on the topic of tours I'll never see, a firty-something man at the bar the other night (actually New Years Eve!) was wearing a "Godsmack 2009 Tour" t-shirt. This got me wondering the extent to which the venues have decreased in size and respectability since the, I don't know, 2001 tour. I spent all of thirty humiliating seconds on the Godsmack website only to realize (according to them) there WAS NO 2009 TOUR! I am now completely perplexed.

Perhaps the gentleman at the bar was a master of irony and had a shirt made for a tour that never existed specifically to rock on New Years in Downtown Boston! Perhaps the tour was planned but canceled due to improving musical taste in the general public. The shirt could then have been purchased at a bargain along with an "Arizona Cardinals 2009 Superbowl Champion" shirt on some website. I may never know. Sir, if you're out there, 'rats off to ya', you magnificent bastard.