Badfingers and a Pina Colada




Last month I gave a list of band names that I found lacking and attempted to explain why, rather than just being subjective. Of course this is always a divisive subject as there is no hard and fast rule to naming a band, and some of my favorite bands have names that I don't like. However one band name that I foolishly missed may be the ultimate proof of a bad name cursing a good band. (All specific info regarding Badfinger comes from an AllMusicReview article by Bruce Eder, Rovi)

The band Badfinger were never able to become the mega rich superstars that critics thought they should have been, despite scoring two huge hits in the early 70's with "Baby Blue" and "Day After Day". The Beatles were their biggest fans for Chrissakes! Growing up I always assumed that "Day After Day" was a Beatles track, and why not? Everybody I knew did as well, except for the people who thought it was Wings or Paul solo. Still, things never seem to go right with them, to the point where two members hung themselves (separately, and in desperation, not in some weird kinky way).

"But plenty of bands with bad names become hugely successful!" you say. You are correct. I posit that something about the specific way Badfinger is a terrible name somehow cursed them, subconsciously stacked the deck against them. For instance, to paraphrase George Costanza, think of the word "manure". Most people think of manure as a bad word, but if you break it down phonetically, it is "ma", a good word, and "newer", another good word.

Now apply the "Costanza Method" to Badfinger. We then get "bad", which is bad (except for a strange period in the late 80's, when it was good) and "finger", which has many unpleasant overtones in the modern world. When you put them together, the result is worse than the some of its parts. I believe that they would have fared better if they were named Manure. I can't believe I just wrote that.

A coworker who was there for the debate which led to "This is my sidekick, Mr. Mister", overheard my thinking aloud and rebutted thusly;

"But what about Vanilla Fudge? People loved them!"

To which I responded;

"Vanilla Fudge is an awful name, but in the Psychedelic scene awful adjective/noun names were forgiven, nay, encouraged! Badfinger sounds like something you don't want in your proximity. You would say 'Get away from me with that Badfinger!' but never 'Get away from me with that Vanilla Fudge!' It would be more like 'Bring that Vanilla Fudge over here, already!'"

I believe that the reason we never knew Badfinger growing up was that nobody wanted to say the words, especially around children. While I was not a twinkle in my parents' eyes when Badfinger hit their stride, I cannot help but think this was a case of a name affecting the fate of a band, somehow offending Fate or at least the Gods of Rock. Please send all band name ideas to me first, or this might happen to you. Good night, sleep tight, don't let the Badfingers touch.